The Issue With Our Evaluation Metrics

One of the telltale signs is when we are repeatedly giving up all hope of leaving the office by evening, along with any semblance of a social life.

At this point in time, I was taken aback. I am in this stage of my life where I am starting to conduct little experiments on myself to bring about a deeper awareness in experiencing joy and purposefulness. Yet, people around me are showing signs in tipping over to the other side of the spectrum. I wouldn’t want to see my friends being unhappy, so I seek to find a solution, or at least some prominent reasons as to why this is happening.

Initially, the lack of balance wouldn’t matter to us, but we would all agree on the same page that such a lifestyle in the long run is not self-sustaining.

One of the reasons as to why there is an imbalance is because, more often than not, we use a collapsing metric to evaluate our lives in totality. It is simpler, if we only need to track one thing. If we can just track that one thing, and we can make that number go up, everything will be good in life. Money is a pretty easy thing to quantify. We think to ourselves that if we could just make more money, everything will work out eventually. However, it isn’t the case at all. The issue of a collapsing metric is, when we only focus on one thing, we forgo the other.

When we only focus on money, we forgo relationships.

Following which, we tell ourselves that there is a need for a switch in strategy. I’m certain we are familiar with the sequencing strategy, whereby we start off by focusing all our efforts on something, then we move on to the next. Once again, it seems to make sense. A classic example is — we are going to do this job that we detest to a large extent, but we are going to make a decent amount of money. After that, we are gonna focus on something else, and what immediately pops out are our relationships. However, relationships don’t work this way. A healthy relationship requires a regular and consistent devotion of time and attention.

You can’t just pause mid-way and continue as and when you like.

With all these in mind, I propose that in order for us to have a life that is self-sustaining, we need to say ‘no’ to threats that could potentially steal a large amount of our time and attention away from relationship building. We need to regularly put deposits, in the form of time and money, in building relationships not only with the people who we care about, but also with ourselves too.

Sometimes we need to have that field of awareness behind the doing self.

I am sure we can relate to the possibility that all we’ve been doing in life is catching up to the ever-changing world. The change becomes quicker, as time lapses on. We are always receiving pings, taps on the shoulders and things of this nature. We can’t afford to be left behind. We have this constant urge to attend to all of them. In the process of doing so, we lose focus of some of the most fundamental things in life. From time to time, we fall prey to such mistakes. We muddle, fumble, stumble and mess up. This is what life is: ordinary, murky and messy.



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Terence C.

Terence C.

There is a fine line between fishing and doing nothing. We would like to think that we’re fishing, but the truth is we don’t have the line.