How Can We Feel More Powerful?
Imagine this. Instead of a ready-made meal, either chicken or beef, that is seared to the discretion of the chef, you’re served with a hot stone where you could sizzle the meat to your personal levels of perfection. How would you feel? Delighted that you’re in full control to showcase your cooking prowess? Or sigh at the concept of having to cook your own food? Think about that.
You can marinate on it for awhile if you want.
It is a marketing gimmick. No doubt. But it is one that works, specifically on people who strives with a higher perceived control level. Perceived control refers to an individual’s perception of his ability to bring about desired outcomes and prevent undesirable ones. If I believe that I can cook the meat to my desired rarity, I want to take charge. More importantly, my will to want to take charge is an energy I can leverage on to spur me in my process.
With this attitude, success becomes a mere matter of time.
On the flip side, if I’m someone who has low perceived control level, and I get thrown into situations whereby I have to be in control, I am likely to experience an enormous amount of stress and anxiety. It may not be the case that I can’t cook the meat well, but with the additional mental and emotional pressure, there is a tendency for me to overcook the meat. As we get older, especially the transition to being an adult, our sense of control over our lives is likely to decline. Hence, it is crucial to understand ourselves if we’re someone who has a higher or lower perceived control level. Are we happy to take charge in grilling our own meat? Or, are we happier trusting someone else to do so?
Does this sense of control lead to a gasp of amazement, or a gasp of disappointment for us?
Control is otherwise seen as power. But it isn’t necessarily the case that with more power brings more control. For some of us, too much power can be crippling. When we have power, we tend to act according to situational demands, and these situational demands may not be what we want. Some of us perform better when we’re being told what to do, whereas some of us perform better when we tell ourselves what to do. Some of us are better followers, and some of us are better leaders. I believe when we want to feel more powerful, it is not dependent on how much control we have. I believe when we want to feel more powerful, we simply deal with life in our own authentic ways. Validation then comes from within, not from anyone else.
When we stay true to our feelings, attitude, core values and personal views, we become more self-sufficient.
Contrary to popular belief, feeling powerful doesn’t come at a cost that many people cannot afford. The ability to act authentically is available to everyone, including people who are supposedly low in power due to their soft personality or their place in the social hierarchy. Once we know the rules of the game, specifically staying true to who we are deep inside, then we can start to play on a higher level. But if we don’t know the rules of the game, we can only watch. Like how some of us try to cook when we know we can’t, and we end up watching our meat become too charred for our liking.
